Nice Stuff

The waves are still comin' in real sweet. I went out for 45 min tonight and caught a few nice ones. I'm just too exhausted right now. I'm pretty sure I told you guys how much I missed my board, right? Okay, I thought so.

A few omissions from the Surfari

• The water at Hatteras was 70 degrees. Back home I'm in my winter suit.

• Malibu and Topanga have the nastiest kelp. It reminded me of the "Little Shop of Horrors". At times my legs and leash were so tangled in the mess, I would paddle for a wave and I couldn't move.

• I saw dolphins every day at every spot in California.
  

• At Uppers, I was sitting on my board. A duck surfaces right next to me, looks over, quacks at me then disappears.

• I'm at Surfers' Point and I hear this "rat tat tat" behind me. I scares the living daylights out of me. It's a duck taking flight.
  

• You know you're a redneck if you stop in Coinjock, NC.

• Can't talk on the cell phone, but I see a woman driving with a cigarette in one hand, a coffee in the other, applying lipstick in the rear-view mirror all while looking over her shoulder and yelling at the children in the back seat. C'mon, Mr. Popo.

Alright....Boom Biddy Bye Bye

My Board

I did better today than all of my surfari days combined. I attribute this to many things. Obviously my board (never leave home without it), but also...

I surfed many point breaks in California which have a specific take off spot. If there are a lot of homies out (which there will be)--good luck. I learned a lot by watching those guys. They were all incredible surfers. There are different pop-up techniques for different types of waves. Positioning is everything. I also probably have more confidence at my home break.

I just wish my dad would have seen me this morning. He's never seen me catch a wave, but he's crashing hard at my place. We've been up for over 24 hours. I think it's lights out for me as well.

OBX

While heading out to surf I heard this man say, "now don't be intimidated, go pick your spot and just do your thing." I asked him if he was giving me a pep talk. Actually he was talking to his 16 year old son. They were from New Jersey.

The guy who I rented a board from was trying to give me a short board because of the conditions. I went with the longboard because there is no way I can ride a short board yet. My dad must be disappointed in me and be wondering what the hell I have been doing for the past year. I got tossed several times and only caught some whitewater. I should have caught at least three, but hey. He can't be any more disappointed in my surfing than I am in his picture taking ability. I'm surprised he even got this much of me in the pic.

Alright so here's my analogy. Let's say Serena Williams is in the finals of Wimbledon and I give her my racket to use in the finals. I guarantee you that she will lose. You want more, I've got 'em.

We just rolled in about a half hour ago. I drove 1041 miles yesterday.

Looks like I've wasted the last 11 days because the waves are rocking in OOB. I'm spent, but I think I'm gonna go catch some waves.

Tomahawk Chop

Got a late start this morning (yesterday). The airline lost my bags. I think the TSA may still be messing with me. Went to the Men's Room. I gave them creative license. They scalped me. They sold me on the style as being short enough to show that I can afford a haircut but long enough to say I don't give a ....

Gonna hit Hatteras in the morning. All reports looking good. Should be chest high!!!

America's Most Wanted

It was blown out everywhere today. Went to El Porto and Manhattan Beach, but it wasn't working. I see this guy at Manhattan Beach and he tells me to check out Topanga. Now here's the real kicker. It's the same guy who told me to go to San Onofre last year. For real.

Driving to Topanga I get harassed by the popo. Go figure, I was talking to "snake" on the phone. He's nothing but trouble. I think the cop let me go 'cause he realized he didn't have any backup. Surfing Topanga this guy tells me, "this spot is for locals". I said, "I know, I wonder where these kooks are comin from."

Off to hit a yoga class with Shiva Rea (google her, she's way legit).

Next stop--the Men's Room Sarasota.

Wait til they see my rental car (lousy surfmobile). Roof covered with wax, sand all over the back seat and an additional 1,200 miles. Teach them to pull the ole switcharoo.

Can't wait to ride my board again. My rental sucked.

iFLY

Since I never made it skydiving last summer, I went to iFLY indoor skydiving. I was awful. I'm not sure if I am worse at skydiving or surfing. I was all over the place. Good thing I didn't go skydiving 'cause I woulda been all tangled in the parachute.

Check out the hair through the helmet though--stylin.

adVentura

Surfed Ventura today. What a great vibe. People were actually talking in the water (very unusual). A nice wave was coming and I looked at this kid. He had priority on the wave. He gave me the thumbs up and pointed at me. Basically saying it's your wave. Way Cool.

After Surfers' Point, I headed up to Rincon. Similar to Surfriders, Rincon has a very defined take-off zone. There were only 8 of us out there. I had to show a lot of respect 'cause they were all locals. They were real nice. After they caught about 10 waves apiece, they would let one slide my way. You do the math. Every 71st wave I was granted an opportunity.

Frustration Sets In

I visited my nemesis today. The only time I was going to catch a wave this guy was paddling out and I woulda cleaned him out if I popped up so I pulled out of the wave. He apologized. I told him, "no sweat". We all now I've been there more than a few times.

To think I've wasted three days at Surfriders. The only time I'm ever going back there is to return my board on Tuesday.

The highlight of my day was 18 pelicans flying a few inches above the water right in front of my board.

Defeated, I paddled in. And you know the rule. I had no choice.

Sox

Went to the Sox game tonight. Die-sue-kay (not Dice-K) pitched a gem. Had the best seat in the house. On the way out, I hit the rest room--it's jam packed. This guy from Santa Clara is right next me. He knows everything Sox. I'm now leaving the parking lot (there's 40,000 people). The car to my left is the same guy from Santa Clara blasting "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" by the Dropkick Murphy's.

On my way home, my brother calls me and tells me that Tom Brady was at the game. Not even the golden boy had better seats than me.

"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis."

Middles

Actually there are two more breaks at Trestles--Middles and Church (I knew that too). So check this out...I pull in the parking lot and I see the same girl, Janice Hill, as yesterday. I mean seriously. She was a California champ in 1979. She tells me to check out Middles. I hit a head-high drop. That was a real wave!!! I then boogied back to Barb Wire 'cause I had so much success there yesterday. Trestles was crowded yesterday...Today was out of control. Hundreds of surfers in the water and a hundreds more on the beach. These shortboarders swarm and are extremely aggressive. I caught a few at Barbs and had to roll. I'm the only longboarder out there and believe me when I tell you--you are in the way with a longboard.

Now that's a Surfmobile!

Trestles

I'm in the parking lot asking this girl if I can surf Lowers. She says you came from Maine, you're definitely gonna surf Lowers. The only way to access Trestles is a 20 minute hike with your board. It's so sweet. Four breaks. Cottons, Barb Wire, Uppers and Lowers. There's a few hundred surfers between all breaks. I start out at Barb Wire and catch every wave I go after. Start walking down the beach and ask this guy where Uppers is. I Surf Uppers for a little bit and then move to Lowers.

Lowers is a world-class surf spot. They hold a pro tour event here. I'm out at Lowers and almost get run over by a shortboarder who says to me..."wrong place." He's absolutely right. These guys are all pros (literally). So I move way out on the shoulder when I see someone wave to me and signal me over. It's the girl from the parking lot and she's right in that lineup. I paddle over to her and she tells me where to set up. It was cool, I was out in a lineup with these insane surfers. I was just bobbing on the outside watching them surf. They were sick. I have never seen anything like it.

Back on the beach, Onion invites me to a beach party but I gotta head back to SaMo. Walking back to my car, crossing Interstate 5, this white suburban pulls over (holding up traffic) and says, "Hey you're from Maine right?' He was the guy who showed me where Uppers was. I told him I didn't do so hot and he said, "I saw you catch some good ones."

Prince

So I'm at the Prince concert and Shiela E opens (surprise guest). Now I've got a huge Prince fan to my right. He's gay (has a tramp stamp). Every time I ask him a question, his partner puts his hand around his waist. I know more Prince than both of them combined.

Out front of me there is a girl with her mom and dad.The dad has no clue who Prince is, but he footed the bill. I told the mom to let dad know how much she enjoyed the show (if you know what I'm talking about). I met Mel later and told him that his girls really loved the show.

I also met Niles. He's from Denmark, but now lives in Malibu. He sold his clothing company...He'll be taking his first surf lesson shortly.

Here's the beef. So many bands/musicians play their act and have a staged encore (or several) leaving their mega hits for the end. I say...play your ass off--leave nothing on the table. If the crowd really calls you back, then pull something out of your back catalog that will tear the place apart (make 'em work for an encore).

When all is said and done...Mel is thanking me, his wife and daughter are thanking me, Niles is thanking me, and the gay couple is thanking me....

(Going Off On A Tangent)

So I can see how the gay couple is into Prince...he is very effeminate, a showman. But once he plays... the guitar he is heavy. He's a musician and anyone who knows Prince knows he loves the ladies. He has been with Carmen Electra, Sheena Easton, Apolonia...

I'm now back in Santa Monica eating at Swingers on the Patio and this guy comes up to me and says, "you were at the show"....

That's how Big Wave Rolls!!!

Not For Me

Went to surfriders again today. Had to 'cause Obama is in town and traffic is gonna be a nightmare everywhere else. I can't read that wave. It's like sitting on a lake then it looks like a little baby comin' and then it jacks. And there's such a long time between waves that when the next one comes everyone is paddling for it. Got tossed once where I whacked my knee hard one a rock. I was like Peter Griffin...."Ow, ow" (repeatedly).

I've officially withdrawn my application from Pepperdine.

Got some time to kill so I'm goin' to check out Dogtown

"Late In The Evening"

Saw Paul Simon tonight--good show although felt he left some good ones off the play list like 'Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard'. His fans are awful dancers--almost looked like dead heads shakin their bones.

Alright people are askin' what went wrong this morning. Three things. 1- only got 3 hours sleep, 2-getting use to a new board, 3-the waves back home come in slow and gradually build. At Malibu they come in slow and then jack up on you. The same thing happened to me at Long Beach in NY. Malibu will be conquered before the Surfari is done.

Still haven't been to bed so it's "Light's Out"!

Not My Finest Hour

I was a little intimidated at first. Didn't really have it, but I did end on a high note. The best part was sitting in the water with the Malibu Hills behind you and there were a ton of dolphins frolicking right in front of us.

I may apply to Pepperdine University and major in surfing.

Singled Out

It all started at the baggage check in where the girl said I didn't look like my ID. So I told her to picture that guy on the ID with long hair. Next stop, check in. The guy eyed me up and down like I was going to a bar with a fake ID. Made it past that guy. Now off to TSA where they pull me aside and run a cloth over my hands. I ask them what this is for? They tell me it checks for explosives. I tell them, (well let's just leave it at that).

My surfmobile is lousy....extremely disappointed. Hopefully things will shape up tomorrow as it's off to the 'Bu.

Met a girl at the airport who asked me if I lived at the beach ('cause of my slippahs). When I told her Old Orchard Beach she was surprised 'cause she thought I was gonna say some beach out here. She lives at Hermosa...we'll see. Oh, for those of you who don't know--I'm on a surfari in California!!!

Man's Best Friend

I've seen this dog on the beach a few times. He sits on shore and watches his master surf. Every time his owner falls, the dog runs in the water to make sure everything is okay. He then goes back and sits on the beach only to repeat the process over and over again.

Mean

The ocean is mean today. I couldn't sleep last night with the roar of the sea and the howling wind. Driftwood is scattered throughout the beach.

Two women were just out taking pictures and a wave snuck in and washed up to their knees.

I'm gonna be a wreck at yoga this morning!

Sweet Justice

Today was awesome. No hoody and back to gloves. I'm actually getting better at this gig. It's nice when you make progress (in anything). "Bass, how low can you go?" That's what I figured out today. Stay low. You have so much more control, maneuverability and speed. I know it probably seems obvious...I mean in any sport, right? Low athletic stance. But it takes a while to figure out and being comfortable on a wave.

So I'm out there (I think I'm out of the way--I really am), then this guy gets up and carves hard my way and has to bail on his ride. He's swearing up a storm. I apologize. When I look over to apologize again, I notice he's on a canary yellow board. It's the snake. Remember him? Ah, Sweet Justice!!!

Gearin' Up

My spring gear came out of hibernation today and got a nice long bubble bath. Gearin' up for next week's surfari. Stay Tuned!!!

Done

Wow, it's been a long time... Hitting waves sure beats having dreams of your neighbors trashing your board in the elevator. My first wave was so sweet, it was almost one and done. A short board woulda been good today. One wave, I popped up and next thing I know I'm landing in the trough on my log--tough to ride a wave that way.

You know you're done when you wanna catch one more, but you can't quite get out beyond the breakers.

"Done, done, and I'm on the next one
Done, I'm done, and I'm on to the next"

Glad I Did

Almost didn't go out today. Looked small, but peeling nice. Then I saw this kid enthusiastically haul down the beach. I watched him for a while--debating. Then he caught this nice left and that was it. I actually learned something by watching him. Once in trim, I would scoot (crouch) down low and gain speed. Caught some good lefts. Waves were knee-high and glass.

Hair Situation

The last haircut/trim I had was in January while in Sarasota. I went to get a haircut at the Men's Room. Obviously this place caters to men. Trust me, there is a lot of stuff not listed on the menu. It is run by two blonde hotties. I arrived around closing time and asked if they could fit me in. The girl said to me, "You haven't had your hair cut in 9 months and all of a sudden you need one right now?" I told her, "come tomorrow, I may not want one."

Anyway, the girls told me to come back for my next haircut and I told them that likely wouldn't happen since I live in Maine. Well, I'm gonna be in Sarasota April 28th and I'm gonna go visit the girls. I'm gonna tell them, "let's do the same thing as last time" and I'll see them again in October for my next scheduled appointment.

A trim twice a year...sounds about right. Seems like all I do is trim!!!

I Think I Done Sprung Me A Leak

Water got into my wetsuit a few times--Brrrrr! Man, I gotta pick up my game. Only caught three today. But hey, I had the time of my life-- three times in one day--tough to beat!!!!

Conditions were real good this morning, but there was way too much fog to go out so I ended up playing the daylight/tide game tonight. It's critical to hit the waves at the right time of day/tide.

Mark Foo

"How can you describe the feeling of looking into a 30-foot tube, like a hole in the ocean? How do I convey the sights , sounds and sensations that just a handful of humans out of the billions of humans past, present and future will ever experience? What's it like to walk on the moon, Mr. Armstrong?"

In Retrospect

I shouldn't have let the snake ruin my session. Instead I shoulda just gone for the waves and told him to take his yellow board and bug off!!

More Surf Etiquette
The drop-in happens like this: Surfer A is closest to the curl, paddles into and catches the wave, only to find that Surfer B -- the dropper-in -- has also caught the wave, from further out on the shoulder. Surfer A is then blocked from making a successful ride. The two surfers may collide, accidentally or deliberately, but it's unlikely that either will enjoy the wave to its fullest. At some critical surf spots, Surfers A and/or B may even be placed in physical danger as a result.

A more subtle, yet potentially more offensive form of ride interference is the snake. This move is very bad etiquette, a greedy exploitation of the generally understood drop-in rule, and is usually practiced by competent and aggressive surfers. Snaking works like this: Surfer A, in position and having waited his or her turn, begins to paddle for the wave. Surfer B (the snake) waits until A's focus is purely on catching the wave, then makes a quick move to the inside and takes off, claiming the wave. If both surfers end up riding, it appears A has dropped in and is in the wrong, yet both surfers, and usually most onlookers, know otherwise.

Good Luck

To Higgins Beach: Good Luck with your parking ban.

I was out for a long time today and catching a bunch of waves. I was riding one wave and this guy was paddling out right in front of me. You all know that's a major no-no right? Anyway, I was feeling confident, continued my ride and turned around him. When I went back out, I told him that was the first time I've ever done that (put the fear of God in him).

There was 15 of us scattered throughout and there was a good wait for waves. For the first time, I was in the best position to catch waves (best takeoff spot). That's why I was catching a lot. Then all of a sudden this guy on a canary yellow board starts snaking my waves. Once he started doing that my game went downhill quick. If he were in a serious surf spot, it would be lights out. If I were a better surfer, I woulda cleaned his clock. Paddling in the zone is a major no-no, but snaking waves is much worse...a cardinal sin.

Paddling Rules
When paddling back out, do NOT paddle in front of someone riding a wave unless you’re well, well in front of him. You must paddle behind those who are up and riding and take the whitewater hit or duckdive. You’ll appreciate this the next time you’re up on a wave.

Snake
Paddling behind someone who's in position to steal their wave.

“Snaking” is when a surfer paddles around another surfer in order position himself to get the right of way for a wave

No Foolin'

It was a tough paddle out. So much so that I almost didn't wanna catch a wave. Then I caught one where it felt as though I was floating down the face. It was a nice glide. Then I made a big mistake. I was sitting on my board bobbing the waves when I saw a larger wave coming....Hmmm, I knew I wouldn't be able to bob it, but I tried anyway. About three quarters of the way up I saw the wave start to break. The lip nearly tore my head off and sent me round and round. This wave was so powerful, it ripped my board toward shore and I immediately felt it in my leg. It pulled me so far inside, there was no way I was getting back out. Shoulda Turtled!

The only April Fools Day joke was played by mother nature who dumped some snow on us. Funny thing is, the storm brought some waves. So who's foolin' who?